Dealing with a parent who only hears what they want to hear can be frustrating, especially when it’s your mom. Many of us have experienced the exasperation of trying to communicate with a parent who seems to have selective hearing. It’s like talking to a brick wall sometimes, isn’t it?
Thankfully, there are practical strategies you can employ to navigate these conversations more effectively. In this article, we’ll explore actionable tips to help you communicate better with your mom, even when she’s wearing her selective hearing hat.
What To Do When Your Mom Only Hears What She Wants to Hear
#1. Understand Why She Has Preconceived Notions
Understanding why your mom has preconceived notions can shed light on her selective hearing. It could be rooted in past experiences, personal biases, or her current emotional state. For instance, if she’s stressed or preoccupied, she might filter out certain information. By grasping these factors, you can approach conversations with empathy and patience, acknowledging the underlying reasons for her selective listening.
#2. Engage Actively with Her with Open-Ended Questions
Actively engage your mom in conversation by posing open-ended questions that encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings. This prompts her to express herself fully, potentially leading to a deeper understanding of her perspective. Avoid closed-ended questions that limit discussion and may contribute to her selective hearing tendencies. Instead, foster dialogue that invites her to elaborate and engage more meaningfully.
#3. Connect Your Message to Her Interests or Priorities
Tailor your message to resonate with your mom’s interests or priorities. When she perceives the relevance of the conversation to her life, she’s more likely to pay attention and listen attentively. Whether discussing family matters, her hobbies, or current events, find common ground to make the conversation more engaging for her. By aligning your message with her interests, you enhance the likelihood of capturing her interest and fostering a more attentive conversation.
#4. Break Down Complex Ideas into Simpler, Digestible Points
Complex ideas can overwhelm anyone, including your mom. Simplify your message by breaking it down into smaller, digestible points, making it easier for her to comprehend. Utilize plain language and avoid jargon or technical terms that might confuse her. By presenting information clearly and concisely, you increase the chances of her understanding and retaining it. This approach facilitates smoother communication and reduces the likelihood of misinterpretation or selective hearing.
#5. Validate Her Perspectives Before Introducing New Ideas
Prior to introducing new ideas or perspectives, validate your mom’s point of view. Acknowledge her feelings and opinions, even if they differ from your own. This demonstrates respect and empathy, fostering trust and rapport in the conversation. When she feels heard and understood, she’s more likely to be receptive to considering alternative viewpoints. By validating her perspectives, you create a conducive environment for open and meaningful dialogue, minimizing barriers to effective communication.
#6. Incorporate Humor or Light-heartedness to Ease Tension and Increase Engagement
Injecting humor or light-heartedness into your conversations can help ease tension and increase engagement with your mom. Humor has a way of breaking down barriers and fostering a more relaxed atmosphere, making it easier for both of you to communicate effectively. Share a funny anecdote or joke to lighten the mood and create a sense of camaraderie. However, be mindful of your mom’s sensitivities and avoid humor that may be hurtful or inappropriate. The goal is to create a positive and enjoyable interaction that encourages her to listen attentively and participate actively.
#7. Reinforce Your Point of View Through Repetition and Consistency
Repetition and consistency are key strategies for getting your message across to your mom when she has selective hearing. Reiterate your key points multiple times throughout the conversation to reinforce understanding and retention. By repeating your message in different ways, you increase the likelihood of it resonating with her.
Additionally, consistency in your communication approach helps establish a pattern that your mom can recognize and follow. Stick to your message and avoid contradicting yourself, as inconsistency may confuse or frustrate her. Through repetition and consistency, you can effectively overcome her selective hearing tendencies and ensure that your message is heard and understood.
Closing Thoughts
Navigating conversations with a mom who only hears what she wants to hear can be challenging, but it’s not insurmountable. By understanding the reasons behind her selective hearing, actively engaging with empathy and patience, and tailoring your messages to her interests, you can improve communication and strengthen your relationship. Remember to incorporate humor to lighten the mood and reinforce your points through repetition and consistency. With these strategies in mind, you can foster more meaningful and effective interactions with your mom, fostering mutual understanding and connection.