Dealing with an aggressive boyfriend when he’s had too much to drink can be a tough situation. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon, but it’s definitely not okay. If you’ve found yourself in this predicament, you have to do something about it. Alcohol can turn a usually calm partner into someone you hardly recognize – angry, mean, and unpredictable.
Thankfully, there are steps you can take to handle this situation safely and effectively. In this article, we’ll break down what you can do if your boyfriend becomes aggressive when he’s had a few too many drinks. Let’s dive in.
What To Do If Boyfriend Is Aggressive When Drunk
#1. First and Foremost: Ensure Your Safety
Your safety should always come first in any situation. If you find yourself in the presence of an aggressive boyfriend who has been drinking, prioritize removing yourself from harm’s way. This might mean physically leaving the area or finding a safe space away from confrontation. If necessary, seek assistance from others or contact authorities to ensure your safety.
#2. Avoid Confrontation During Intoxication
Attempting to reason with or confront an intoxicated and aggressive individual can often escalate the situation. It’s crucial to avoid engaging in arguments or discussions until your boyfriend has sobered up. Give him space and time to regain control of his emotions before addressing the issue, as trying to communicate while he’s intoxicated may only worsen the conflict.
#3. Reach Out to Someone Trustworthy
Don’t hesitate to confide in someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or mentor, about what you’re experiencing. Sharing your concerns with a trusted individual can provide emotional support and help you navigate the challenges you’re facing. They may offer valuable insights, advice, or assistance in finding resources to address the problem effectively.
#4. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking guidance from a trained professional, such as a therapist, counselor, or support group specializing in relationship issues or substance abuse. A professional can offer impartial guidance, help you understand the underlying causes of your boyfriend’s aggression when drunk, and provide strategies for coping and resolving conflicts constructively. They can also offer a safe and confidential environment for you to express your concerns and explore potential solutions. You can reach out confidentially on SAMHSA’s National Helpline.
#5. Set & Enforce Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries with your boyfriend regarding his behavior when he’s intoxicated. Communicate assertively about what behavior is acceptable and what is not, making sure to express your concerns and expectations clearly. Be firm in enforcing these boundaries and implementing consequences if necessary, as consistent enforcement is crucial for maintaining respect and protecting your well-being in the relationship.
#6. Encourage Treatment
Encourage your boyfriend to seek treatment for his alcohol use and anger management issues. Express your concern for his well-being and the health of your relationship. Offer your support and assistance in finding appropriate resources, such as therapy, counseling, or support groups. (Start here on the NIH website for alcohol treatment)
Encouraging treatment shows that you care about his health and are committed to finding solutions to the problem together.
#7. Document Incidents
Keep a record of any incidents involving your boyfriend’s aggressive behavior while drunk. Document the date, time, location, and details of each incident, including any physical or emotional harm caused. This documentation can be valuable if you decide to seek professional help or legal intervention. It provides concrete evidence of the problem and can help professionals understand the severity of the situation.
#8. Consider Your Options
Consider your options carefully if your boyfriend’s aggressive behavior persists despite your efforts to address it. Evaluate the impact of his behavior on your safety, well-being, and happiness in the relationship. Explore potential solutions, such as couples counseling, ultimatums, or even separation if necessary. Prioritize your own needs and make decisions that are in your best interest.
#9. Take Care of Yourself
Focus on taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own well-being. Practice self-care activities that help you manage stress and maintain your mental and emotional health. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to cope with the challenges you’re facing in your relationship. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and don’t hesitate to prioritize your own happiness.
#10. Know When to Seek Emergency Help
Recognize when the situation escalates to the point where emergency help is necessary. If your boyfriend becomes physically violent or threatens your safety, do not hesitate to call emergency services or leave the situation immediately. Your safety is paramount, and seeking help from authorities or seeking refuge in a safe location may be necessary to protect yourself from harm.
Closing Thoughts
Dealing with an aggressive boyfriend when he’s drunk is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. By prioritizing your safety, seeking support from trusted individuals, and taking proactive steps to address the issue, you can navigate this difficult situation with resilience and determination.
Remember to set boundaries, prioritize your well-being, and consider seeking professional help if needed. Ultimately, your safety and happiness should always be your top priority in any relationship. Stay strong, stay safe, and know that there are resources available to help you through this tough time.